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Do you know any good viola jokes ?

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Viola Jokes (oh dear, there's so many - here's a small selection)

Q: Why do so many people take an instant dislike to Viola players?
Why wait; It saves so much time.

Q: Why are Violist's ears sought after for transplants?
A: They've never been used.

Q: Why do Violists get antsy when they see the Kama Sutra?
A: They can't handle any subject reference to "more than one position".

Q: Why is a Violist like a terrorist?
A: They both screw up bowings. (Bowings/Boeings ... Get it?)

Q: What's the difference between a Violist and a terrorist?
A: A few people actually like terrorists; Their mothers ...

Q: Why is a Viola like a lawsuit?
A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

Q: Why are Violas larger than Violins?
A: They're not; It's an optical illusion. Viola players have small heads.

Q: What's the difference between a chainsaw and a Viola?
A: A chainsaw has a better chance at blending in a string quartet.

Q: What do you call someone who hangs around musicians a lot?
A: A Viola player.

Q: What do you call a Viola player with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What do you call a Violist with more than one brain cell?
A: Pregnant. Q: What's the difference between a chainsaw and a Viola?
A: In the "Texas Viola Massacre", the killer was wearing a tuxedo.

Q: What do a SCUD missile and a Viola player have in common?
A: They're both offensive and inaccurate.

Q: What's the most effective male birth control method?
A: Tell the girl he plays the Viola.

Q: Why don't Violists play hide and seek?
A: Because no one will look for them.

Q: Why shouldn't Violists take up mountain climbing?
A: If they get lost, no one will look for them.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Viola player with a sheep?
A: A sheep that plays out of tune and has lousy time.

Q: What's the ideal weight for a professional Viola player?
A: About 20 ounces - not counting the urn.

Q: Why are some Violists taking up the Accordion?
A: Upward mobility.

Q: Why are so many Violists dating drummers
A: It makes them feel superior.

Q: How do you get a Viola player out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope!

Q: Why are Viola jokes so short?
A: So Drummers can remember them.