Hey guys.

I hate to sound...depressed...but I really feel like my rhythm has gone out the wazoo.

Rhythms that used to be so easy for me, I can't play at all. I don't know what's going on. I feel like I had all this potential ... and now I completely am horrible. This is why I haven't been here in awhile-because I feel so incompetent compared to you guys.

I have my college audition in less than three months, which I'm completely stressed about, partially because I don't know what I'm playing. I mean, I did have a repertoire, however, I sent an email to my flute teacher asking if we could change it because I know the flute professor I'm performing for. She's not going to accept the two pieces we chose as well as, if the two pieces are performed at the right time they are supposed to be performed, it's under the audition time (minimum is five), and combining the lengths of the pieces, it's like...four. Yes, if you add the third piece (which doesn't really seem to contrast at all) it is more like ... six, but I want to give the flute professor the maximum time (ten minutes) because 1) She's taking time out of her Christmas break to do this for me while I'm back in America 2) This is the only school I want to go to. I'm actually not too worried at the moment to get in academically, although I do have to get on top of my application.

I feel like my tone has decreased as well...and no matter what I do it doesn't seem like it's improved. It seemed like when I took my braces off my flute, it ruined it instead of improved it.

Also...seriously...I don't think the original pieces would be contrasting enough and challenging enough. I thought it'd be fine at the beginning to have Badinerie from Suite No. 2, which was fine...and then the other piece my flute teacher decides I should play is the first movement from Godard's Suite de Trois Morceaux because "I've performed it before".

I don't get this. My flute teacher for the past almost year has been the best flute teacher I have ever had. I've learned so much from her. I hate to be frustrated at her, but it just doesn't seem she gets it.

My problem is that I want to study music education more than anything in the world...I can teach/explain rhythms, musicality, anything much better than actually performing it on my own. It's really frustrating how I can teach anyone except myself (well..not everyone...I can't teach someone under pressure/last minute circumstances). I can't perform at all. I mean, I had a phenomenal musicality audition for honor band, but I don't think I'll make it, because they're only accepting 8/9 out of the whole entire high school flutes that audition throughout the international school system. If I make it, I will feel more secure of my flute playing, but I actually would think it would make me feel like I deceived the judges or something.

Sorry for venting...

Sorry to read you are feeling so low. It is probably due to the proximity of the auditions and maybe (kind of shot in the dark), not receiving enough support from your teacher or your environment.

If you feel depressed, it is normal that this could affect negatively your quality of tone, IMO.
As for the rhythm, I can only suggest something that worked for me when I was studying pieces in 6/8 with long notes (such as Faure): I made an accompaniment with a synthezised piano using a Music Notation SW and then played along with it. It was a jump ahead. If you cannot do this (or cannot get a friend record the accompaniment in a real piano), I could do it for you if the piece is not too long and I have the score available.

Sorry for any mispellings. My spell corrector stopped working ...

i get how you feel, last year i thought i would be able to join the scol orchestra this year as i could play to a grade 3 standard but they raised the barrier to grade 4, which let me so fustrated, i am also a bit worried as i want to take the grade 3 exam in march but the cut off date is in january- when i get braces, but i don't let it get me down i find new pieces to play the aren't the exam peices that i have been working hard on, -so they are correct by january, so me and my teacher know i can do it.

But all this aside don't let it get you down- practice your scales and pieices you know well for the next week, don't work on anything that you don't know, this shouls built your confidence a bit and will help build your tone back up, then the net week spend 15 minutes of your daily practice time doing a little sight reading,- just simple stuff(you acn print quite a bit of good sightreading practice off hear), and then 1-15 minutes playing through your audition pieces- note down mentallly any passages you are having difficulty with then after you have played all your pieces, practice them passages and play them though again.

Don't worry about your difficulty with rhythms right now as the sight reading will help, also you mouth has to get used to the absence of mental in there. Try getting as relaxed as possible before you play, sit down with a warm drink (or cold if you prefere) and relax for a minute (but make sure you have a couple sips of water else your'll make your flute all sticky).

This sort of thing is very common. People grow and develop in small leaps rather than a linear progression, and as we get closer to making a breakthrough to the next level in any skill(as well as awareness and so on), we tend to have everything get harder for a while.

Then it suddenly all comes together and your skills improve greatly.

This is unfortunately the point where most people give up on something, though. So don't give up. It'll come together if you keep at it. And sometimes it's just as simple as your brain needs a rest - try taking a few days off and spending it outdoors.

Let me just throw this out there: Do you know what happens when someone who knows how to drive suddenly starts to pay too much attention to every tiny detail of what they're doing? Right- they will overthink everything and not trust their muscle-memory. You will have to relax enough to feel the rhythmn, and to do that, you will have to *not* worry about the outcome of your audition.
You need to disengage your mind from this and connect with your body more. Walk or run off the stress to keep it from building up in you. There is a book called, I think, The Relaxation Response. Get it and release that pressure.