First song written, a bit rough around the edges and dark but what you think?

    
First song written, a bit rough around the edges and dark but what you think?    15:00 on Wednesday, May 19, 2010          

jaredrobinson
(2 points)
Posted by jaredrobinson

If i'm full of love why do I feel empty
the tormented path I choose to take
try to make amends but my words decieve me
what once was strong begins to flake

The chaos Glows bitter blood flows
the spoken word not friend but foe
a selfish heart, a timid mind
Now I reap the seads I sow


Now I sit here alone, my heart torn scared to bone
I move toward the depths of darkness,
Why did i miss the light you'd shown

thoughts narrow like the path I walk
I look with blinded eyes from within
Trapped in an endless wasteland
i tear myself open from guilt I talk

I close my eyes but my sight remains
No rest no solice no peace of mind
a shadowed figure, a glowing light
an exit path from these toutored plains.


Now I sit here alone, my heart torn scared to bone
I move toward the depths of darkness,
Why did i miss the light you'd shown

my focus turns, the calm has set
the path once narrow begins to breathe
the strength returns, extended hand
a tainted heart, my true regret

legs of stone, the shackles break
I start to stand, mind free of pain
I can lead the way, I know this path
your weakness now i can start to take

I stand now alone my heart still scared but flesh covers bone
Now surronded by the consuming light
I'm ready now, my heart has Grown


Re: First song written, a bit rough around the edges and dark but what you think?    16:19 on Wednesday, May 19, 2010          

jaredrobinson
(2 points)
Posted by jaredrobinson

I am aware its a work in progress but any advice would be great


   




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