ROAD KILL RECIPES !!!!!

Equipment : 1 stone rake, 1 claw hammer, 1 roller, 1 cleaver, a pair of tweezers.

Ingriediants: A solution of methyl alchol in rain wate generally collected from hollows in tree`s. Sends you blind. Not much found in Tesco or the like.

The sauce : Crack the hens seperate the yokes, then throw in the cows, stirring to make thick custurd.

Method for main coure : Rake up the rabbits, crush heads and hammer out flat then remove the gravel, any larger bones, eyes and so on with tweezers. Roll into cylinder and cleaver into hairy lumps.

Cook: Allow sause to simmer then add rabbit gobets and lemongrass and bake at gas mark 7 for 3 hours or untill congealed.

Moral high ground : Our chef had a few complaints from a mewling youths who reckon it`s indecent to expose squashed dead animals to ridicule. We agree. Get out there, eat them and remove 2 treats from the inviroment - the rotting carcusses and yourself when you die from food poisoning !!!!!!!!!

J Hood