My favourite flute jokes:

-How do you get two flute players to play in tune?
Shoot one of them

- How do you get two piccolo players to play in tune?
Shoot both of them

-How many flautists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. They just hold it up and let the world turn round them.

Come on, I want to know more flute jokes!

why do flute players put their cases on the dashboard of their cars?

so they can park in the handicapped zone

what do you call three flute players playing in tune?

A miracle

why do they put loud obnoxious whistles in factories?
- to give you some appreciation for the flute

haha i have a funny clarinet one

How do you get a clarinetist out of a tree?
- cut the noose hahha

Oh these are wonderful!

what do you call 100 flute players at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start

I don't have any flutey jokes, but I have a great tongue twister! See how fast you can say this one:

A tutor who tooted the flute
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor, "Is it harder to toot,
Or to tutor two tooters to toot?"

speaking of tongue twisters, here is the hardest one in the world... I have only met one person who can say this fast..

Toy Boat

Sounds simple enough.. BUT IT ISN'T!!!

I LOVE that tongue twister

am i the only one that doesn't find flute jokes funny?

WHy did the tomato blush?

because he saw salad dressing!! HAAAA

( yea i know..not a flute joke)
Jokes are not that funny if you just read it..it's funnier if you hear it..^^

You haven't heard the right one at the right time. Some jokes require a little background knowledge to be funny... like this one:

(Jean Pierre Rampal did a skit on the Muppet show and this is the closing joke)

Waldorf: "Jean Pierre performed an album of Frank Sinatra's hits on the flute."
Statler: "What's it called?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Waldorf: "I Did It Sideways!"

Two musicians are walking down the street and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?" The other replies, "That was no piccolo. That was my fife!"

(play off an old skit)
Fred: Saaaaay, Ward. Who was that lady I saw you with last night?
Ward: That was NO lady... that was MY WIFE! HAHAHAHAHHA!
[Fred smacks Ward on the head with a wooden hammer]

THIS IS REALLY FUNNY! GIVES YOU A SMILE...
20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity!

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point your hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
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2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious
face.

11. Specify that your drive through order is "to go"

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your
wrestling name, Rock
Bottom.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON, I WON"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

LOL.^^ I think this is so funny..you guys should try that. I DO!