Dear Forum Members:

Although the returns are not all in, yet, I will tell you that I'm leaving this forum, as I expect to be impeached.

My ONLY intent was to impart that which I've learned over the past 40 years of playing our wonderful, chosen instrument.

I THOUGHT (obviously mistakenly so) that I could lend an insight into playing the instrument --- and that, which I've learned over many years, having had 4 different, very accomplished virtuoso flutists as teachers. Apparently, that means nothing.

This has not been the case --- since every OPINION I placed was taken as being "DICTATORIAL" in nature, although you were really hearing the individual and collective voices of my teachers.

My only intent was to HELP those whom are new to the Forum, or those of whom have had questions that I THOUGHT I could answer. The old saying is that: "experience is the best teacher". I relied upon that. MY call --right or wrong.

In the end --- and I've said it before --- I have to bow to
Chris's and Kara's remarkable insight on flutes. You should follow their insight as to "just what" is the correct flute to buy; model and make, since they are more knowlegeable than I.

I regret leaving the forum, but, apparently it is the "vox populi".

I sincerely wish all of you the best of luck in your flute-playing endeavors. Just be the best you can be.

God Bless, and Best Regards to All.

Jim Millen

Jim, I am not good with words, but I will try here...

I am sorry that you feel as though you must leave the forum. I felt very much like you when I started out about five years ago posting on forums. I took so much to heart and so personally like everyone was out to attack me. I was defensive and did not listen, I only hurt myself and lashed out at others in the process. I did leave this forum one time and almost another time, but came back because of a lot of caring people that reached out to me.

I know it may be difficult, but try looking at all the posts again and try taking another perspective on them. We are not out to burn you at the stake or disagree with everything you or someone else that you have quoted. If we disagree, we are not doing it to hurt you or be mean. It is not personal. We are musicians, it goes along with territory. There is a lot of debating on flute forums. I can tell that you are a very sensitive person. There is nothing wrong with that. I am very sensitive also and I admit it does cloud my judgment from time to time. If something is hurting you or bothering so much then I suggest (as someone who does care) that you give it a break for a while. Like I said before, I have done this myself and left the forum before.

Music comes along with so many emotions.. sometimes passion, love, excitement, but should never be hurting to you in anyway for then you loose a part of you.

When a knowledgeable and sensitive person like you announces he is leaving the Forum, it is always sad.

But I do not think there is any "vox populi" here, still less any impeachment.

Nobody has the right (and the means) to do so in this Forum, except the Admin, who acts (though very quietly indeed) as a moderator. And this is not the case.

We have a few "strong characters" in this Forum, who can be and very assertive sometimes but other times (very sorry that I must say this) could be a little more tactful. But everybody expresses its own opinions, not the other's opinions. And there is no poll or "majority rule" here. Opinions and statements can be (sometimes extremely) more knowledgeable, but they are always individual and must be taken like that. Though "Forum" and "Parliament" may evoke similar concepts, this is a typical Internet Forum and not Parliament.

And finally, there is not much difference to what one encounters in real life, be it at work, at the club or in so many other places.

But the same as we finally learn how to interrelate with with people with strong opinions (that we may not always share) and lead a peaceful coexistence, I believe (but it's just my position) that it is a good practice of life to learn how to deal with this situations in virtual spaces such as this one, at least whenever we can.

Keeping "a humble" profile may help, if one can admit to doing so. These Forums are virtual and we are essentially anonymous, although with time and enough interaction some members are finally known and others have a public personality from the very beginning.

I have learnt so much in this Forum that I feel deeply grateful to everybody that helped me in so many doubts and (sometimes silly) questions. And this includes you, Jim.

I understand that it may be easier for me to feel this way because I arrived here as complete beginner to flute and you have 40 years of experience.

But there have been and still are, many other aspects of this Forum that anybody can enjoy.

Many posts from young people are so fresh and candid that they make me look back and feel younger (just an example, it works for me); there were humorous posts that I enjoyed a lot, I have started myself a thread with limericks that I hope will develop with time. And so many other positive things.

All this said, I understand that we are both at an age when I have no right (or intention) to tell anybody how to act, live or virtual, not even my own children. So please do not take my comments in that sense.

It is just that I believe that you have an important experience to share and it is a loss if you leave. But it will be your decision and I believe the border to avoid crossing is feeling consistently bad here.

Anyway I would rather give a couple of suggestions I have found useful for this Forum:

- It is not necessary to always answer every conflicting opinion or answer, even if we feel we have something interesting or possibly important to say. The Forum works like this and the best way is to make the (sometimes big) effort to refrain from answering or posting.

- I always try to leave a couple of hours at least from the first impulse to post and the actual posting, in case of delicate or too personal matters.
I have caused problems a couple of times for not having followed my own rule. True is that I have not followed my own suggestion this time, but I think it is rather urgent and I am soon leaving home for many hours.

But if you leave now and decide to come back in the future, I am sure you will be welcome back.

Hi Jim,

You probably already know where I stand on this issue, since I have talked to you about it in private already. I will say this much, I agree with many opinions here and disagree with many. I know what has worked for me, what has advanced my career on the flute, and what has held me back. I have chosen either to fix the things that hold me back, or focus even more on the things that have moved me ahead. By ignoring many bad things, I have left some minor to annoying problems in my flute playing. I have learned by fixing one problem I too often create an even worse problem that never goes away. I know what makes me play well now, and few teachers have tried to correct severe issues, like my bleeding index finger, and my hard push into my lower jaw. I have a strong embouchure, and that keeps me playing well. Of course, I loosen the grip up when I want to rumble those low notes, and tight when I want to shriek on the high ones.

Notice, I don't care what anyone here has to say except to take what I can use, and leave the rest. I offer insight myself, and I know I would put my playing ability up against many of the best anywhere. I really have no ego there in that statement, just the knowledge that no one is really so good they can't learn something and share, and in short play nice. I play poorly sometimes, and really well other times. I say stupid things, and VERY smart things too. I have not had anyone get under my skin (some have tried!). I have no time to get upset, and all that, the real world does plenty of that for me. I know what bothers you, and maybe years of BBS sysop work taught me EXACTLY how to deal with know it alls.

Remember those of you who think you know it all are annoying to those of us who do.

actually i found you to be a refreshing sort around here. finally, a debate with merit! makes me happy.

i apologize if i was rude, i just speak out on my opinions. its not that i dont like you! like i said, your comments made for an interesting debate. you should see my boyfriend and i get into a debate on religion and abortions... thats scary.

you should see my boyfriend and i get into a debate...

That should be "and me", actually--object of the verb to see.

In any case, I officially decree that JimMillan can stay, but he must submit to the following humiliating degradation: 1) He must temporarily retire, for a period of at least six months, the terms differentia and dictum (and move on to e). Words need their rest just as much as we ourselves. 2) He must allow his moniker to be considered to be JimMullan for the purposes of at least one satirical limerick (on the ground that it will thus be easier to rhyme).

Haha! This place has turned into a big grammar etiquette class. It is a nice change be able to laugh more on this forum after some of these posts.

Today's forum reading has just had me chuckling nonstop.

Jim, stay or go, that of course is your own decision. It's just a forum. But, people are going to give you grief when they do not agree with your opinion/information/manner of presentation. No big deal.

Personally, it doesn't sit comfortably with me when you name drop. There, that was MY opinion. Did I read you correctly? Were you actually name dropping, or was it an attempt to clarify some information. On a forum such as this, it is near impossible to know someone's intent when they post. I don't know if you are name dropping, it just "feels" that way to me. Once again, BIG DEAL.

As time goes on, and we each get more comfortable with various styles (Patrick's humor(?), Kara's quick emotions, Micron's bluntness, Jose luis's gentle diplomacy, Chris's factualness, etc)we will start to absorb and accept your style as well. As you will with ours, if you give it a chance.

I also have forty years of playing experience. I sometimes offer opinions and advice, and I think that sometimes it is beneficial to others. I know that it doesn't necessarily sit well with everyone.

If we were all the same, life would be SO boring.

What!!! My quick emotions! Well I don't like you at all!! What a thing to say. I am crying over here now. *Grins*

I am not dysfunctional, take it back, I am not!!!!

I just fail to function properly sometimes. Is that clear? Do you need this explained further? Does this make... Does this make...
Does this make...sense?

:P