This will seem dumb...but has anyone ever heard of a wooden trumpet? With valves and all?

Ummm, no, not really. I usually stick to the brass kind.

yeah. African trumpets were made out of wood.

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but thoughs didn't have valves.

I saw one on ebay. No valves though.

As a trumpet player who has also been a woodworker/furniture builder for many years I will say that while making a "horn" from wood isni't beyond reasonable consideration, due to the fact that all types of wood expand and contract signficantly with changes in temperature and humidity, a workable wooden valve section would be an extreme long shot. I've seen wooden bodied clarinets and oboes made unplayable by exposure to high humidity conditions (i.e. playing outdoors during rainy weather). So as for a wooden trumpet with valves....I seriously doubt it.

Then again, they have made metal clarinets.

Actually, I've had a trumpet student come up and ask me if there was such thing as plastic trumpets. I instantly replied no, but now am wondering in hindsight if they do exist.

I know that a company called Kelly make plastic mouthpieces, but an entire instrument made out of plastic would be diabolical. It would be a nightmare trying to keep it in tune: it would heat up too quickly!

Apparently, there was wooden variation of a trumpet, which from memory was called a cornetto (name probably incredibly wrong).

This instrument similar to a clarinet in shape, and had holes, but used a trumpet-like mouthpiece. Also, apparently Louis Armtrong started his playing on this instrument before moving on to trumpet.

Actually, the other day i saw a picture of a flugelhorn/bugle like trumpet with finger keys like you would find on a saxaphone or clarinet. It was made of wood and i think it was a really early model of the trumpet. it used a regualr style brass mouthpiece though. If i can find a pic ill post.