Five Foot Flirt
(Cyril Tawney)

Now don't say Jim Johnson weren't with 'ee last night
I heard him as plain as can be
I was crossing the mound when I heard a strange sound
Down by the sycamore tree
I thought perhaps a cow had got stuck in the mud
And pulled out its foot with a moo
But I'm satisfied now that that noise weren't a cow
It was Jim kissing you

You'm a five foot flirt wi' the face of an angel
You better had leave I alone
Why the way you're acting it nearly unnerves I
The thing that preserves I is my joviality
Though I've got trouble as thick as the stubble
It's you that's the worst of them all
Get out of my track and if you want to come back
You can crawl, crawl, crawl.

Remember what happened last Saturday night
The air was so peaceful and still
Like a bolt from the blue came a hullabaloo
A growling and a cackling so shrill
It came to my head as I leapt from my bed
There's a fox at my chickens, that's true
I crept out in my socks and bumped into the fox
It was Jim kissing you

CHORUS

Now what's your excuse for last Sunday in church
It fair turned the poor vicar grey
While the organist was rendering, "Lead Kindly Light"
Jim Johnson kept pumping away
Then all of a sudden the organ stopped short
The vicar got into a stew
When he went round behind tell me what did he find
He found Jim kissing you
CHORUS
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Written by Cyril Tawney of the West Country
Recorded by John Roberts and Tony Barrand on "Mellow with Ale
from the Horn"
Copyright Dick James Music, Ltd.
DC