Hunting Song
(Tom Lehrer)

I always will remember,
'Twas a year ago November,
I went out to hunt some deer
On a morning bright and clear.
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

I was in no mood to trifle,
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey.
What a haul I made that day.
I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

The law was very firm, it
Took away my permit,
The worst punishment I ever endured.
It turned out there was a reason,
Cows were out of season,
And one of the hunters wasn't insured...

People ask me how I do it
And I say there's nothing to it
You just stand there looking cute,
And when something moves, you shoot!
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, an a pure-bred Guernsey cow.

Copyright Tom Lehrer
RG