That's What It's Like in the Navy

I wish I'd never joined for a sailor, mother dear,
I've seen some places in my time, but nothing like this 'ere,
The girls won't let us court them and the canteen's out of beer,
And that's what it's like in the Navy.

They covered us with honours, and praises far from faint,
They showered us with medals, 'gainst which we've no complaint
But we'd rather that our "Jimmy" hadn't covered us with paint,
And that's what it's like in ine Navy.

And when we started rolling, we rolled an awful lot,
Some people lost their balance, or their dinner, on the spot,
But the whole of bloody Two Mess went and lost their soddin' tot
And that's what it's like in the Navy.

There were tough guys in the Navy when Francis banged his drum
And chaps like Hawkins chewed up glass instead of chewing gum
But even they weren't tough enough to drink Maltese water in their rum,
And that's what it's like in the Navy.

From Grey Funnel Lines, Tawney
RG