The Links o' Montrose

THe sun was a-setting way doon in the west
And I know that I seen it in my Sunday best
So I daundered awa where the sunny wind blows,
I daundered awa' o'er the links o' Montrose.

Aye, I daundered awa' where the grass grows sae green
Till the fairest young damsel 'twas there that I seen
Wi' her fresh young complexion and cheeks like the rose,
She fair won my heart on the links o' Montrose.

So I says, "My fair damsel, will ye come wi' me
We'll walk tae the shade o' yon big shady tree"
So we daundered awa' where the sunny wind blows
We daundered awa' o'er the links o' Montrose.

Aye, we daundered awa' where the grass grows sae green
But she tripped, and she fell, and O! what I seen
For the strings o' her knickers got mixed wi' her hose
"Godamnit!" says I, "Yon's the map o' Montrose!"

So I fell on yon maiden and pu'ed at her wame
And she'd no let me rise 'til I plucked her again
For I spies a wee hole and far up it here goes
And her arse left its mark on the links o' Montrose.

So I lay wi' yon lassie a half hour or more
While the ships sailed along by the old harbor shore,
Then she squares up her bonnet and onward she goes
And she bade me good day on the links o' Montrose.

Ah, but time tells a story, or so they do say
And I've been in pain now for many's the long day;
And if I catch yon lassie wha ga'ed me the dose
I'll baptize her arse on the links o' Montrose.

Note: The map of Montrose: Montrose is situated between two rivers that
join in a sort of wishbone configuration.
From Rita Ferrara who learned it from Ed Miller.
RG