Rawtenstall Annual Fair

Down behind the gasworks, down in Rawtenstall,
That's a little town in Lancashire.
Last Saturday night, me and the lads,
Ee by gum we 'ad some reet good cheer.
There were ice creams, switch backs, coconuts, and waxworks,
Figure eights and roundabouts,
And weren't we all delighted when we heard the showman shout:

"Oh, roll up, roll up, come and see the fat girl,
Forty stone o' loveliness and evr'y bit's her own."
Ee she were a big 'un, Wi't accent on the big,
And all the fellas wi' walking sticks kept giving her a dig.
She were a great big lassie, as didn't know her chassis
Were blown up wi' air I do declare.
Well everthin' were champion, until some silly clown,
Stabbed her with a pin - said the showman with a frown
"All hands to the pumps lads, mi vessel's goin' down",
At the Rawtenstall Annual Fair.

"Roll up, roll up, see the house o' myst'ry,
Ladies pay a tanner to be tickled in the dark."
In went the lads, just for a peep,
The showman pulled a lever and they landed in a heap.
Well, down he shot 'em, right to the bottom,
Frills and things for ev'ryone to see.
There were shoutin', screamin', ev'rythin' were rife,
I saw some funny things I've never seen in all mi life,
I saw some funny things I've never seen upon mi wife,
At the Rawtenstall Annual Fair.

"Roll up, roll up, come and see the mermaid,
See the lovely lady, half a woman, half a fish."
In went the lads, to show it wasn't swank,
When little Tommy Higgins put some whisky in the tank.
Well, she got frisky, swimmin' in the whisky,
And when she came up for air,
She bowed to the audience, gave her tail a swish,
Her tail it came off and she really looked delish.
She said "What do you want boys, a bit o' meat or fish",
At the Rawtenstall Annual Fair.

"Roll up, roll up, see the tattoed lady,
See the lovely lady with the pictures on her skin."
In went the lads and they began to cheer,
To see that on her back were all the towns o' Lancashire.
There were Odsall Bottom, Manchester City,
The town hall standin' in the square.
There were Oldham, Bolton, Ashton-under-Lyne,
'Coal pit up at Burnley were lookin' mighty fine,
Till someone shouted "Daddy, don't go down the mine",
At the Rawtenstall Annual Fair.

IP